This Month in Crazy: Pot for Pets and I Don't Mean Flower Pots

Happy Hippie Hound Dog

Hey man, anybody seen my stash?

We all love our pets to distraction and want to keep them happy.  Since it’s hard for pets to roll a joint, a Seattle company is working feverishly to fix that problem by developing a pot patch for pooches. Yup, you read that right, a transdermal drug delivery system for marijuana for dogs.

Cannabis sativa, weed, bud, pot, smoke, ganja, whacky tobacci, call it what you will, it all does pretty much the same thing. That is, unless you bought some of that really killer shit they grow up in Mendocino County, California.

doggles-k9-optix-sunglasses-for-dogs-pink-heart-lens hippie

Dude, that was some wicked stash

Since dogs can’t eat brownies, you know, those brownies, the ones hippies in the old days referred to as Happy Hemp Squares, today, the latest in eco-chic is medical marijuana patches for Brandon, the Bichon Frise in the Prius over there with the hemp collar and matching leash. No chemo for this progressive pet parent, no way, that’s too mainstream.

As my Grandmother used to often say, when she saw something that would have mortified her mother, “I’ve just lived too long!”. But, Granny joined the beat generation when her friend Bernice came down with cancer. Bernice could not, for the life of her, fight the nausea that accompanied the chemotherapy treatment.

Groovy Hippie Chick dog

She never really left Woodstock behind after that last trip

Rapidly losing weight, poor Bernice was just skin and bones. That is, until her doctor prescribed smoking pot. Well, that sure changed Granny’s tune when it came to what she thought of what those dirty hippies were up to in Mendocino County in a hurry. Bernice, for the first time in weeks could hold down her food.

Why would a dog need medical marijuana?

“Because dogs suffer from the same maladies that humans do. It’s a question of quality of life,” the patent owner Alekson of the pot patch said.

Hippie dog costume

Hey man, anyone seen my bong?

While the patch does conjure visions of pups wearing peace sign medallions, suede vests with fringe and flowers in their hair, Alekson says pets suffer greatly from pain – everything from arthritis to cancer.

Alekson, the proud Papa of three adorable little Papillons, says the pot patch is far more… mellow. I can think of a few humans I’d like to slap that patch on, but never mind.

“I’d much rather they were on something holistic as opposed to something chemical that I know is breaking down some of the organs in their body,” he said. Groovy, man. Far out.

pot leaf necklace

Is that what I think those are?

Hate to harsh your mellow, but the patch does pose a few problems with the local fuzz. Did I just say fuzz? Holy crap, I sound like a nerd from a bad 70’s sitcom. Picture this, you’re minding your own business, when the Feds roll up to your yurt with CAMP in tow ready to slap your doggie in rehab and you in prison for being a pooch patch dealer or dog pot pusher.

Little dog carrying bag of bud pot marijuana

Did you want Train Wreck or Stinky Pinky?

Until the day arrives, that laws in states that do allow medical marijuana for humans are amended to include animals, you’re going to have to stay low-key. Take the Legalize Pot! bumper sticker off your Prius, get rid of the Happy Hempy Hippy t-shirt and just be cool, man. And you can forget about trying out this lousy excuse for growing pot too: “Dude, it’s not for me, it’s for my dog!”

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5YufbofcNA]

Read more:

Lab Works on Medical Marijuana Patch for Dogs/NBC News

Medical marijuana for man’s best friend: Seattle company develops ‘pot patch’ for dogs/Daily Mail UK

Favorite comments:

“Yo Fido! Don’t bogart that patch, dude!”

“Dude, where’s my Beagle!?”

“I thought cannabis was deadly to dogs?? Is it only if they consume it orally?? My dog ate 9 choco chip and cannabis cookies (by mistake) it cost me $1500 at the vet”

Related:

donate poisoned pets

Mollie Morrissette

Mollie Morrissette, author of Poisoned Pets, is an animal food safety expert and advisor to AAFCO. Help support her work by making a donation today.

Comments (4) Write a comment

  1. Ha, ha, ha!! What a unique post…the photos are so HILARIOUS!! I pictured Jerry Garcia rolling over in his grave (or was he cremated? whatever!) All humor aside, I must say this is a progressive movement and I never heard of it till now. Makes sense to me. I’m coming from the viewpoint of a woman whose husband is battling cancer since 2010 and I can really appreciate the medical use of marijuana for either man or beast. Only problem is, we live in TX where medical pot will probably never get legalized. Kudos to Californians for coming out of the dark ages on the medical marijuana issue. If only more states would get on board with this movement. I’d choose natural products over pharmaceuticals given a choice. Only thing I wonder is, I wonder how do the pets react to it?

    Reply

    • Thanks! I know, isn’t great! Texas, huh? Yikes. Don’t get me wrong I love Texas and Texans, but Lordy Moses you don’t EVER want to get busted there for pot. At least that’s what everyone up here in Mendocino County says. It’s a true story about my Grandmother and her best friend Bernice.

      I’m so sorry to hear about your hubby. Does he need any pot? We’ve got the good shit up here! I’m kidding.

      Personally, I can’t stand the smell of the smoke. I did try eating it chopped up in salsa and salads for my bad back. I was desperate and had heard the ‘”water” leaves or the shake leaves were good for pain if you eat it raw. They taste really nutty. It didn’t work, but who knows, maybe I didn’t eat enough. I also tried making a tea with those leaves, but it didn’t help. They don’t have any or much THC on them, so they don’t get you stoned.

      I tried smoking pot a couple of times, and OMG, it was awful. I couldn’t move or talk, it was terrible.

      My cat has cancer and we will be treating her with injections of a derivative of aloe vera, called Acemannan Immunostimulant by Carrington Labs. It’s no longer available, but I searched all over the US, Canada, Australia, and Britain to get it. I was fortunate to have the new owner of Carrington Labs Veterinary Division, CarraVet, locate a retired vet that still had stock.

      I’m praying to God it will work, because at this stage, chemo and surgery are out of the question. It worked on another cat I had years ago who had cancer. She is my baby girl. I don’t know what I will do without her. She is my best friend. I’m not kidding. If she has issues with nausea, weight loss or pain, I’ll be banging on that guys door for some patches. I’m serious.

      Fortunately, I have a very cool holistic vet, who is up for all that groovy alternative stuff. But then we would have a groovy progressive vet up here in the Emerald Triangle! Tee hee!

      Reply

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